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BEWARE THE GILA MONSTER
©Gary Bowman
“I think a man who is fool enough to get bitten by a Gila monster ought to die.  The creature is so sluggish and slow of movement that the victim of its bite is compelled to help largely in order to get bitten.”  -Dr. Ward

Driving west from Flagstaff, on Route Sixty-Six
Needle stuck on empty, on a hot Mojave day
Eased into a double-pump, Red-Star Texaco
To get some gas, and then be on my way

The cowboy at the pump, filled ‘er up on high octane
And offered this advice for the trip
“Steer clear of this hot, barren desert
And, beware of the Gila monster’s grip
Beware the Gila monster’s deadly grip”

Don’t you know, the Gila monster’s deadly,
And he’s got a painful bite,
He won’t let go till the sun goes down,
You’ll be lucky, if you make it through the cold, desert night

Well, I didn’t steer clear of that desert,
Land of coyotes, rattlesnakes and lynx
And shy, lethargic Gila Monsters,
Covered in their beads of black and pink

Now, in my humble opinion,
You’d have to be a fool to get bit
If you wrangle with a Gila Monster,
You probably deserve just what you get
Yeah, you deserve what you get

Don’t you know, this world’s full of critters,
Some you embrace, and others fear
Beware, a stranger’s hollow words, and believe
Half of what you see, And nothing that you hear
Believe half of what you see, And nothing that you hear